You Deserve It, But So What!

Yesterday, I was at church and enjoying a little post-sermon fellowship. The church provided hoagies, cake and ice cream. The people who were serving the cake were aggressively pushing the cake, “COME GET THIS CAKE”. They didn’t want to be saddled with figuring out what to do with the leftovers. 

That was their problem, and I didn’t take any. Well, they stepped up the “Y’all are gonna eat this cake” efforts and started visiting each table asking us to take cake. I said, “No, I’m counting calories”. 

The second part of that sentence was a mistake. I should’ve simply said no. If I had, I could’ve avoided the next part of the conversation. But the horse was out of the barn and the person said, “Come on, it’s just one slice!” I pushed back twice, and she walked away. 

Sidebar: people will always ask for what they want multiple times, no matter what you’ve said. Can you blame them? This is why you must be clear and committed to your goals. Each of us is always trying to meet our goals, even if they’re at odds with someone else’s. This isn’t good or bad. It just is. 

Earlier that day, I read a social media post that said, “You will ALWAYS have bills. Life will always keep coming. So, take the trip, buy the shirt, and enjoy your life”. This is 100% true. 

But if you take all of the trips and buy all of the shirts, you’ll never be able to take THE TRIP or buy THE SHIRT. If you deserve every slice of cake, you’ll always have the health and weight of the person who deserves every slice of cake. 

Does this mean that you can’t ever splurge? Maybe. If your trips, shirts, and slices of cake are all impulse decisions, it does mean you should avoid them. Planning is key. A life characterized by focus and goal attainment doesn’t mean deprivation. Rather, it means being keenly aware of the choices you’re making. So, it IS better if you decide that you’ll have one cheat meal a week instead of eating what you deserve whenever you deserve it because you work hard and you’ve been focused for four days.

The reality is is this: because none of us has unlimited resources in every area of life, we do have to pick and choose what matters to us most at each decision point. 

• Do you want the weekend trip now more than you want the trip to Ethiopia that you’ve planned two years from now?
• Do you want the shirt more than you want to pay off your high interest credit card which will mean fewer shirts overall?
• Do you want the cake more than you want a healthier BMI, to take fewer prescriptions, and to be less winded when walking a flight of stairs?

None of this is judgment. It just is. Each micro choice is playing chess against your macro choices and you’re controlling both sides of the board. What’s your next move?