Stop Reading That!
You know exactly what I’m talking about. Those posts that tell you that you are broken and in perpetual need of fixing in every area of your life. From dating to your attitude to your hair, you’re supposed to be loyal to everybody and their preference EXCEPT yourself. And you better not have any feelings about any of it. When you do have feelings, especially if they’re angry or resist the message, you’re destined to be a lonely bitch because of it. When you say no or won’t be ride or die or don’t enjoy fixing plates, you’re a selfish bitch. Anger isn’t always bad, and no is often necessary! You don’t have to be the prop that holds up everybody.
(FYI… I’m talking about posts like these…)
Here’s why I want you to reject those messages: they make you question yourself in unhealthy ways. Rather than helping you to define yourself in a way that affirms your natural talents and gifts, these messages tell you what you’re supposed to be. Your first thought when you see them should be, “According to whom?” But it is even better to get to a place where you can dismiss these messages out of hand. Adjust your radar, so you can spot this BS before you take it in and save yourself some time.
When you think about the woman you are and the woman you aspire to be, define her for yourself. Think about the foundation of your value system, whether it’s God, faith, family, or lessons you’ve learned from living and construct a persona that you love. Who is that random person on social media that you’re letting speak into your life? They don’t know you, and they don’t even care about how their words land on you! Don’t give them a place in your head and heart.
Replace that garbage with affirmations that you have constructed to remind yourself of how awesome you are. Here are some of mine, and I challenge you to write your own.
- I am pretty. I am fine. I live a big ole life that’s all mine. (I should’ve been a poet…lol)
- I am healthy and well, and my mind and body function optimally.
- I am a good steward over all that I have.
- I learn, grow, and evolve.
- I am wanted, worthy, and loved.
- I love, and I am lovable.
- I will not set myself on fire to keep someone else warm.
- “No” and boundaries are a gift to me and them.
- Any significant personal relationship, including a romantic partner, is a relationship in which there is mutual admiration, enjoyment, respect, and similar core values.
- No problem or situation is so such that I have to sacrifice who I am for it.
- Even if I don’t fully like all of the options, I always have a choice.
- I do not have to always be in a hurry.
- I welcome the opportunity to learn from experiences that didn’t go the way that I thought they would (I try to avoid the word “mistake”).
- My best is excellence, not necessarily perfection, and that is okay.
- I live according to and toward my own definition of success.